February 2012
bigbakabitches:
my entire life is just one big “wow ok”
When someone tries to take a picture of me
ivanoooze:
why shouldn’t you eat your girlfriend’s peas?
because they are herpes
sandandglass:
swallowbitchpeoplearestarving:
well maybe the guide’s wrong
aimmyarrowshigh:
I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.” What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION. “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.
benefits of dating me
you’ll be dating me
I could go on but I think I’ve made my point
channing tatum: i'm your husband, you were in a car accident
me: ok
I said "Cow!" to a woman on a bike earlier today.
hellokitty-0910:
She screamed back multiple curses right before she crashed right into the cow I just warned her about.
During a math test
Me: my answer = 23
Answer choices: 17, 19, 26, 36.
Me: well 26 is closer to 23, so that must be the answer.
